A Dialogue Begins

09/11/2011

It’s a shame that, so often, it takes a tragedy to bring people back together.  When our high school classmate and good friend, Stan Moore, died last week, I called Michael as soon as I got the news.  They were very close in our younger years.

Yes, I do remember that, in July, I texted Mike that I was stepping back from whatever you call this thing we have between us.  I left the ball in his court, giving him all the time he needs to deal with his personal and business issues, telling him to call me when he thought the time was right.

Over six weeks went by without a word, but I knew I had to call him about Stan.  I think Tommy Cason and I are the only people from school who have his number.

As soon as his plane landed in Albuquerque, he called me back, but I had gone to bed, so he left a voice mail.  He also sent me a text, thanking me for letting him know about Stan and saying he was ready to talk about us.  He said he would call in a few days when he was in position to have a real conversation.

So, yesterday while I was on the road to Savannah to my writer’s workshop, he called.  We tip-toed around our personal stuff but at least came to an understanding that we wanted, needed to be in touch more often.  We both feel the need for that connection, though I think I need it more.  Hell, I’m a girl.

We continued to talk business, and he still wants me to help him with some real estate investments he’s going to make.  No, he does not want any money from me.  He has gobs more than I do.  He wants me to help with planning, logistics, and even decorating the properties he is planning to buy in Ft. Myers.

We decided that we would take baby steps in our personal lives as well as our business dealings.  I came away feeling better than I have in weeks.  It is delicious to know that he is not out there not thinking about me or worrying about me.  He was concerned about my burns and a little hurt that I didn’t call him after I set my self on fire on August 23.  (You can read about that on The Red Sweater).

So, we will see what happens.  We are both damaged goods and neither of us is 100% sure of what we want.  We just know we want to stay in touch, let any “relationship” that may come, come in its own time.

I can live with that.

© cj Schlottman

September 11, 2011

About cj schlottman

I'm a 63 year old nurse who works at Pine Pointe Hospice in Macon, Georgia. Two years have passed since my darling husband, Clint, passed away. I have written thousand of words on my other blogs about my experiences as a grieving widow and my return to work. The last two years have been the hardest of my life, a life already rife with loss. Now, it's time to turn the page, open a new chapter. An old love, Michael Drury, has come back into my life, and this blog, at least in the beginning, will be about us, what happens when he come to Macon for the weekend - just to see me. Granted, it may be a very short blog. We could find out that we are not meant to be together, but I don't believe that. The next few months will tell.
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4 Responses to A Dialogue Begins

  1. I like this. I like the understanding you came to, I like it for you. Everything seems to come in its own time, sometimes more time than we would like, but it does come. I’m glad that you’ve come to an understanding. I guess I can somewhat relate with a relationship I have. It’s hard not to have answers. It’s hard wondering. I’m happy for you. Sorry this isn’t the most eloquent response. For some reason today has me in a spin, but this post helped me. Thank you and you know what? I love you. I love your honesty and I love your willingness to share.
    Teri

  2. I am so glad you were able to speak again. I think taking some time has helped and there is a connection so maybe taking it slow will be good. All you can do is try!

  3. Amanda says:

    Best of luck cj. I hope it works out the way you want.

    It can be the hardest thing to do sometimes. No expectations, going with the flow, observing. That can feel terribly passive. But I’ve found it can help me figure out things quicker rather than later.

  4. Yes, just take baby steps. There’s no rush to make any huge mistakes is there? but, nothing ventured, nothing gained. If he’s not after you for your money, then that’s something in itself :)
    Haven’t seen you for a while. Hope you’ve been well.

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